Nanowrimo draws closer every day. And I still haven't managed to even think of a premise for my "novel." Things are getting dire. And on top of that, I haven't posted on this blog in the last two days, which I promised myself I would do every day. So. Lazy. I need to give myself a good slap.
.
I don't feel prepared for NaNo at all. If I was conditioned, I could probably pull off writing from day one with no prepared topic, and just see where the characters take me on their own momentum. But I'm out of practice. I haven't blogged or written poetry in many months, and it's been even longer since I've sat down and told a story. Actually, I don't think I've done so since last November.
.
But I guess I'm going to just go with it. Dive right in. Now all I need is a topic.
.
So what do I want to write about?
.
I know I want to write a story that's mostly realistic, and set in modern times. Basically because I don't have time to do a buttload of research or create an elaborate backdrop for a fantasy world. I need a relatively simple story I can just tell with a mere week's preparation.
.
Now I'm just going to list with story elements I find interesting, themes that are important, types of characters I like, etc. Then mix and match them. Hope a story will emerge.
.
- theme, questioning organized religion
- theme, involving a character who feels she has no identity
- a trio of main female characters, either sisters or close friends
- a character who can talk to animals, or just an animal who can talk
- magical realism that feels very organic, not contrived
- story takes place between autumn and winter
- set in Clemson
- explores female identity, feminism
- GLBTQ characters, issues
- young people struggling to figure out what it means to be "good" and what it means to have a meaningful existence
- romance
- alienation from society
- ambivalence
.
OK, I'm going to stop for a second. Most of the ideas I've listed are themes or undercurrents in the story. They aren't plot points. This is always my problem. I'm an idea person... I like playing with big concepts. But often times I find myself dead in the water because there's no actual storytelling going on. Nothing's happening. I can't let this happen, especially when I'm trying to write this thing in a month. If I ever get stuck, I won't recover. So I need to come up with PLOT POINTS.
.
Trying again.
.
I like the idea of beginning my story on Halloween and ending it on Christmas. Kind of two opposite ends of the spectrum, with Halloween representing the occult, loss of identity, deceit, paganism, and a connection with friends rather than family and Christmas representing tradition, family, religion, etc. Actually, taking that idea a little further, and making parallel what I hope the MC's journey will be, Thanksgiving should be the holiday that represents the extreme "conservative" side of things. Christmas is a little more in the grey area, because the holiday has pagan roots and is very secularized today. It also has a more liberal spirit to it. Christmas could be when the MC sort of reaches... well, not necessarily a compromise, but a state of holding the different sides of herself in balance. Accepting her contradictions, etc.
.
This seems like a solid timeline, and I like the idea because it takes place not only in my favorite seasons to write about, but largely around the times I will be writing, so I can put some of my day to day experiences of nature/weather into the story. Yay.
.
This still isn't a plot though. Ugh. I keep thinking that I want some kind of mystery, but I can't think of one. I guess my idea so far is hyper-realistic, which isn't what I want, though that's how I tend to write if I don't give my imagination a stern poke. Plus, I don't like the idea of writing in a character as "the villain" or even "the antagonist" even if I give the readers plenty of reasons to sympathize with them. But I want a villain in this story. It will make it more fun to write.
.
I guess I need to flesh out my MC more and figure out who the villain in her life would be. So, she's a college student. OK. I think when the story begins, the MC is at some sort of Halloween party and ends up cheating on her boyfriend. That kind of sets up her mental state at the outset; not really knowing what to believe, or how to distinguish right and wrong. Ugh, the more I think about the story, the more I don't see it as a plot that calls for a "villain" character. I see the villain in the story as maybe being society in general, or just the MCs own inner demons. Gosh that sounds lame. But that's my vision, I guess.
.
Hm, I think I want to do something similar to Haruki Murakami's work. In "Kafka on the Shore," "The Wind-up Bird Chronicles" and "Sputnik Sweetheart" he achieves a feeling similar to what I want. Magical Realism, characters sort of drifting and disconnected from their passions, surreal elements. I love the way he brings the characters' psyches to life and makes their inner struggles seem like actually battles for their lives. (Wow, I'm being so inarticulate today. Hopefully I'll get all this "bleh" out of my system before November.)
.
So, the question now is how I will turn the MC's inner turmoil into something truly menacing. Well, that's one question anyway. The other is what her connection to her friends is, what their personalities and struggles are, how important they will be in the book, etc, etc, etc. Oh my. So much. So much.
.
Okay, so I want one of the girls to be a composite of two of my friends in real life. She's going to be very free-spirited, self-reliant, and someone who lives very joyously but rather selfishly. If she likes you, she can be very sweet, but if she dislikes you she does so with almost bottomless contempt. She can be very extreme. Very intuitive, relies on her own internal system of logic. The MC likes her, but is somewhat in awe of her which prevents her from getting close to her, even though they've known each other for 4 years. The MC often wonders what her internal life is like, and whether she is really as unconflicted as she seems.
.
The other friend, I suppose will be rather the opposite. Wispy, pale, meek, dutiful, self-sacrificing, passive aggressive. Main character feels a stronger kinship with her, because they both share similar conflicts.
.
Hurm. I originally wanted to write the story from multiple perspectives, but I think that would run counter to my purpose. I want the readers, along with the MC to be guessing along with everyone else the true thoughts of these characters. Or.... on the other hand, that would take away a lot of the fun from the writing. I guess instead we could see how different the other characters are from how the MC perceives them. The only problem with that is that I see this story as pretty much being about the one girl. The others are supporting characters. Yeah, I think multiple perspectives is a little to ambitious for this story. I want it to be relatively simple.
.
Okay, what about the boys of the story? I want each of the three girls to have a significant other. The MCs boyfriend is charming, friendly, funny in a goofy sort of way, and endearing. He's also fearful of conflict, very diffuse-- not intense at all-- and dispassionate. The MC fears that he lacks substance.
.
The first friend, we'll call her N for now, is dating a more quiet, self-contained boy. He's moral, but in a logical, humanist way. He is kind, but only to a point. He doesn't have much pity for the weak, but he doesn't seek to exploit them either.
.
The other friend, the meek one, (L for now) is dating a boy with a very nervous energy. He is at turns sycophantic and belligerent, and rather judgmental. He has a wide variety of interests that he dabbles in, though he is passionate about none of them. He desires to live an experimental, free lifestyle but he doesn't follow through. In his heart, he is a traditionalist.
.
The boy whom the MC has her "affair" with is a rather aloof boy. Sort of generic hyper-masculine good looks. Very doubting, very cynical, very broody (although that's beneath the surface.) To others he acts almost disconcertingly casual. He rarely admits to caring about anything. Very dry humor. Shy. Loyal. Paranoid.
.
Okay. Here's how I'm seeing the plot so far. Girls go to Halloween party with boyfriends, except for MC, whose boyfriend has to work. They have fun together, MC starts talking to "Aloof Boy," one of her boyfriend's best friends, who is a little drunk. They split off from group, have intimate conversation, make out. For a little while they are lost in passion, but when "Aloof Boy" tries to take it father, MC refuses. She feels terrible cheating on her boyfriend, especially since he and AB are so close. She leaves, AB seems both disappointed and relieved.
.
This sparks a crisis in MCs mind. Who has she become? What does she want from her life? Are she and her boyfriend truly happy together, or just comfortable? When was the last time she felt this passionate about anything?
.
She first tells L. She feels more comfortable because she can predict what L will say. N is more of a wild card-- N might actually advise her to do the thing she is afraid to do, which is to leave her boyfriend and take a chance with someone new. Something inside her tells her that this would be wrong. You should be loyal to the person you are with. Talking to L turns out to be useless. All she does is make bewildered faces and ask the MC, "So, what are you going to do?"
.
MC becomes more disconnected from reality. Constantly fantasizes about what could be. Feels powerless in real life.
.
Ok, I think that's enough for tonight. Think I'm gonna let this stew a little more. But this at least gives me a place to start from.
.
Night.
.
I don't feel prepared for NaNo at all. If I was conditioned, I could probably pull off writing from day one with no prepared topic, and just see where the characters take me on their own momentum. But I'm out of practice. I haven't blogged or written poetry in many months, and it's been even longer since I've sat down and told a story. Actually, I don't think I've done so since last November.
.
But I guess I'm going to just go with it. Dive right in. Now all I need is a topic.
.
So what do I want to write about?
.
I know I want to write a story that's mostly realistic, and set in modern times. Basically because I don't have time to do a buttload of research or create an elaborate backdrop for a fantasy world. I need a relatively simple story I can just tell with a mere week's preparation.
.
Now I'm just going to list with story elements I find interesting, themes that are important, types of characters I like, etc. Then mix and match them. Hope a story will emerge.
.
- theme, questioning organized religion
- theme, involving a character who feels she has no identity
- a trio of main female characters, either sisters or close friends
- a character who can talk to animals, or just an animal who can talk
- magical realism that feels very organic, not contrived
- story takes place between autumn and winter
- set in Clemson
- explores female identity, feminism
- GLBTQ characters, issues
- young people struggling to figure out what it means to be "good" and what it means to have a meaningful existence
- romance
- alienation from society
- ambivalence
.
OK, I'm going to stop for a second. Most of the ideas I've listed are themes or undercurrents in the story. They aren't plot points. This is always my problem. I'm an idea person... I like playing with big concepts. But often times I find myself dead in the water because there's no actual storytelling going on. Nothing's happening. I can't let this happen, especially when I'm trying to write this thing in a month. If I ever get stuck, I won't recover. So I need to come up with PLOT POINTS.
.
Trying again.
.
I like the idea of beginning my story on Halloween and ending it on Christmas. Kind of two opposite ends of the spectrum, with Halloween representing the occult, loss of identity, deceit, paganism, and a connection with friends rather than family and Christmas representing tradition, family, religion, etc. Actually, taking that idea a little further, and making parallel what I hope the MC's journey will be, Thanksgiving should be the holiday that represents the extreme "conservative" side of things. Christmas is a little more in the grey area, because the holiday has pagan roots and is very secularized today. It also has a more liberal spirit to it. Christmas could be when the MC sort of reaches... well, not necessarily a compromise, but a state of holding the different sides of herself in balance. Accepting her contradictions, etc.
.
This seems like a solid timeline, and I like the idea because it takes place not only in my favorite seasons to write about, but largely around the times I will be writing, so I can put some of my day to day experiences of nature/weather into the story. Yay.
.
This still isn't a plot though. Ugh. I keep thinking that I want some kind of mystery, but I can't think of one. I guess my idea so far is hyper-realistic, which isn't what I want, though that's how I tend to write if I don't give my imagination a stern poke. Plus, I don't like the idea of writing in a character as "the villain" or even "the antagonist" even if I give the readers plenty of reasons to sympathize with them. But I want a villain in this story. It will make it more fun to write.
.
I guess I need to flesh out my MC more and figure out who the villain in her life would be. So, she's a college student. OK. I think when the story begins, the MC is at some sort of Halloween party and ends up cheating on her boyfriend. That kind of sets up her mental state at the outset; not really knowing what to believe, or how to distinguish right and wrong. Ugh, the more I think about the story, the more I don't see it as a plot that calls for a "villain" character. I see the villain in the story as maybe being society in general, or just the MCs own inner demons. Gosh that sounds lame. But that's my vision, I guess.
.
Hm, I think I want to do something similar to Haruki Murakami's work. In "Kafka on the Shore," "The Wind-up Bird Chronicles" and "Sputnik Sweetheart" he achieves a feeling similar to what I want. Magical Realism, characters sort of drifting and disconnected from their passions, surreal elements. I love the way he brings the characters' psyches to life and makes their inner struggles seem like actually battles for their lives. (Wow, I'm being so inarticulate today. Hopefully I'll get all this "bleh" out of my system before November.)
.
So, the question now is how I will turn the MC's inner turmoil into something truly menacing. Well, that's one question anyway. The other is what her connection to her friends is, what their personalities and struggles are, how important they will be in the book, etc, etc, etc. Oh my. So much. So much.
.
Okay, so I want one of the girls to be a composite of two of my friends in real life. She's going to be very free-spirited, self-reliant, and someone who lives very joyously but rather selfishly. If she likes you, she can be very sweet, but if she dislikes you she does so with almost bottomless contempt. She can be very extreme. Very intuitive, relies on her own internal system of logic. The MC likes her, but is somewhat in awe of her which prevents her from getting close to her, even though they've known each other for 4 years. The MC often wonders what her internal life is like, and whether she is really as unconflicted as she seems.
.
The other friend, I suppose will be rather the opposite. Wispy, pale, meek, dutiful, self-sacrificing, passive aggressive. Main character feels a stronger kinship with her, because they both share similar conflicts.
.
Hurm. I originally wanted to write the story from multiple perspectives, but I think that would run counter to my purpose. I want the readers, along with the MC to be guessing along with everyone else the true thoughts of these characters. Or.... on the other hand, that would take away a lot of the fun from the writing. I guess instead we could see how different the other characters are from how the MC perceives them. The only problem with that is that I see this story as pretty much being about the one girl. The others are supporting characters. Yeah, I think multiple perspectives is a little to ambitious for this story. I want it to be relatively simple.
.
Okay, what about the boys of the story? I want each of the three girls to have a significant other. The MCs boyfriend is charming, friendly, funny in a goofy sort of way, and endearing. He's also fearful of conflict, very diffuse-- not intense at all-- and dispassionate. The MC fears that he lacks substance.
.
The first friend, we'll call her N for now, is dating a more quiet, self-contained boy. He's moral, but in a logical, humanist way. He is kind, but only to a point. He doesn't have much pity for the weak, but he doesn't seek to exploit them either.
.
The other friend, the meek one, (L for now) is dating a boy with a very nervous energy. He is at turns sycophantic and belligerent, and rather judgmental. He has a wide variety of interests that he dabbles in, though he is passionate about none of them. He desires to live an experimental, free lifestyle but he doesn't follow through. In his heart, he is a traditionalist.
.
The boy whom the MC has her "affair" with is a rather aloof boy. Sort of generic hyper-masculine good looks. Very doubting, very cynical, very broody (although that's beneath the surface.) To others he acts almost disconcertingly casual. He rarely admits to caring about anything. Very dry humor. Shy. Loyal. Paranoid.
.
Okay. Here's how I'm seeing the plot so far. Girls go to Halloween party with boyfriends, except for MC, whose boyfriend has to work. They have fun together, MC starts talking to "Aloof Boy," one of her boyfriend's best friends, who is a little drunk. They split off from group, have intimate conversation, make out. For a little while they are lost in passion, but when "Aloof Boy" tries to take it father, MC refuses. She feels terrible cheating on her boyfriend, especially since he and AB are so close. She leaves, AB seems both disappointed and relieved.
.
This sparks a crisis in MCs mind. Who has she become? What does she want from her life? Are she and her boyfriend truly happy together, or just comfortable? When was the last time she felt this passionate about anything?
.
She first tells L. She feels more comfortable because she can predict what L will say. N is more of a wild card-- N might actually advise her to do the thing she is afraid to do, which is to leave her boyfriend and take a chance with someone new. Something inside her tells her that this would be wrong. You should be loyal to the person you are with. Talking to L turns out to be useless. All she does is make bewildered faces and ask the MC, "So, what are you going to do?"
.
MC becomes more disconnected from reality. Constantly fantasizes about what could be. Feels powerless in real life.
.
Ok, I think that's enough for tonight. Think I'm gonna let this stew a little more. But this at least gives me a place to start from.
.
Night.
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